Dissecting the Interrelation between Mental Health and Romance
Erin Gayles, Communications Coordinator
February 14, 2021— Dramatic Bouquets. Sweet Treats. Date Nights. The Month of Love has crept slowly upon us. The time of the year where young, and even those a bit seasoned are looking for that special someone. We crave intimacy, appreciation, and reassurance, expecting our lovers to pour deeply into our souls. To patch the incisions made from picking and prodding at our insecurities. How can you pour into someone with a cup that’s half full? My biggest advice: Don’t Fret. ALL of these emotions are human.
As the selfless beings we are, we tend to graze past fulfillment within self before indulging romantically. You’ve heard the phrase, “I’ll love you in sickness and health”. A study from the American Addiction Everything was
fine.
Everything was
fine.Center, Inc. in a survey of 2,000 respondents concludes that anxiety and depression compromised over 44 percent of reported mental disorders related to romantic relationships. This could be due to many factors. But we must still consider the abhorrent stigma associated with love on February 14th: celebrated only through romance. The truth is, with some simple reframing, this day doesn’t have to be a gruesome affair! Love can be felt through family, friends and most importantly self. It’s about time to re-envision what love means to you!
Coping mechanisms for Anxiety and Depression that will change your February to Feb(You)ary
Re-evaluate (You)r Relationships!
Sharing an emotional space in any relationship (Platonic or Romantic) can be challenging. With that being said, there are a number of unhealthy practices that plague relationships everyday. Brainstorm the relationships in your life that are near and dear to you. It is important to visualize each person's role in your life and the position that they fill. Categorize them by their impact on your Mental Health both healthy and unhealthy.
Here are some questions to ask:
Is your partner open to educating themselves about Mental Health?
Have you and your partner cultivated a healthy space to communicate these issues?
Has your partner exhibited supportive and sympathized behaviors after sharing?
Have you sought therapy in your partner over a professional?
When answering these questions, identify the relationships in your life that may trigger increased Anxiety and Depression. In addition, point out the areas in which you may be causing overbearing stress to the people in your life. This doesn’t mean trash your relationships totally! Keep the people around in your life that have encouraged your journey towards healing. For those relationships that you may seem unsure about, communicate it, take the time that you need to get professional help, and revisit the relationships later.
Affirm (You)rself!
The Month of Love is in action and the best kind of love is the kind that you show to yourself. Seeing those around you being showered by romance can be defeating. You may find yourself questioning your worth or comparing your love life to others. Don’t dig yourself into a hole of sadness! Reframe your approach through self-love. It’s time to be extremely transparent. Take the time to think about all the negative things that you have put into the universe about yourself. An example could be, “I will never find love”. After you have flushed all those negative things out, choose to revise those thoughts as affirmations. Change “I will never find love” to “Love is around me at all times”. Begin to use these affirmations on a daily basis! Whenever a new negative thought arises, force yourself to reframe its meaning to make it positive.
Affirmations can be put ANY and everywhere! Get a journal and write an affirmation when you wake up in the morning or right before you close your eyes for bed. Write them on your mirror so you can see them while you get dressed! Gather a collection of affirmations from social media and make it your screensaver! Although this is just one step towards healing, you’d be surprised how much a simple reframing of your words changes your mental health.(You)can fill your own world with love.
Have (You) Time!
Last, but totally NOT least enjoy being in your own company! Love isn’t a feeling confined to a romantic partner or relationship. The best way to lift your spirits is to treat yourself. Burn a candle, dim the lights and have your own movie night! Pick-up dinner and pair it with a calming activity! Exercise and take a hot shower! Self-care is one of the top ways to avoid triggering mental health issues. Taking a step away from the stresses of life like work, school, and social media helps us to release negative energy that is carried around with us on a daily basis.
So, during this Month of Love, rethink how you can surround yourself with love without the help of others. See this month as a time to regain balance before exhausting your ability to function in relationships with others. Accept your position, give yourself grace, and seek healing. Love is air only if you make it that way!
Mental Health Resources Created for People of Color:
Therapy for Black Girls
Depressed While Black
Redefine Enough
Healing Melanins
The Mighty
Articles about Mental Health and Romance:
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